21 October 2024

How to Help Your ADHD Child Regulate Their Emotions (While Maintaining Your Own)

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boy in blue shirt covering his face
boy in blue shirt covering his face

Ah, emotional regulation. Sounds fancy, right? It’s basically a high-brow way of saying “keep it together, kid!” And for those of us lucky enough to be parenting an ADHD child, helping them manage emotions is like trying to teach a cat to do algebra—difficult, messy, and sometimes impossible… but not for long! Strap in, mama (or dad), because we’re diving into the whirlwind world of ADHD emotional regulation with stats, science, supplements, and some good ol' practical advice.

The ADHD and Emotion Connection: What You Need to Know

First, let's clear one thing up. ADHD isn’t just about hyperactivity and forgetfulness. It’s a full-on executive dysfunction party in their brain! Emotional dysregulation comes along for the ride like that one chaotic aunt at Thanksgiving—completely unpredictable but expected. Research shows that roughly 70% of children with ADHD struggle with regulating their emotions. Think mood swings, meltdowns, and emotional outbursts over the smallest things (like, you know, the fact their sandwich was cut the wrong way).

These emotional reactions aren’t just tantrums—they’re genuine struggles. And they can be exhausting, not only for your kid but for you too! If you’ve ever thought, "My child goes from 0 to 100 faster than my morning coffee kicks in," you’re not alone.

But fear not! There are ways to help them get a grip on those big feelings.

Tip #1: Teach Them to Recognize Their Feelings

Before your child can regulate their emotions, they need to know what they’re feeling. Sounds simple, right? Wrong. Kids with ADHD often react before they can identify what’s happening inside their heads. Try using feeling charts or emojis to help your kiddo name their emotions. The goal is to get them from screaming in frustration to saying, “I’m frustrated because I can't find my toy!” (Small victories, people.)

Pro Tip: This isn’t going to work overnight. Be ready to repeat yourself more times than you thought humanly possible. Patience is key!

Tip #2: Model Emotional Regulation (Even When You're About to Lose It)

Here’s the kicker—you need to model emotional regulation too. I know, I know. Easier said than done when your child’s having a meltdown in the middle of Target. But when you stay calm, take a deep breath, and (gulp) admit when you’re wrong, you’re teaching them how to manage those chaotic feelings.

If you do lose it (we’re human, it happens), don’t panic. Apologize and show your child how to repair relationships. Something as simple as saying, “I was really frustrated, and I’m sorry I yelled. Can we try again?” teaches them accountability and emotional repair.

Tip #3: Create Predictable Routines

Ah, routines. ADHD’s frenemy. It may seem counterintuitive, but the more structure your child has, the less likely they are to spiral into emotional chaos. When life feels unpredictable, their emotions go haywire. Set consistent routines around sleep, homework, meals, and yes, even screen time.

Here’s why it works: Kids with ADHD often struggle with transitions. Knowing what’s next on the schedule helps them feel more in control—and less likely to have an emotional outburst because they were blindsided by bedtime.

Tip #4: Emotional Management Treatments and Therapies

Now, let’s get a little science-y. There are treatments designed to help kids with ADHD manage emotions more effectively. It’s not just about medication, though that can be a helpful tool for many families.

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This helps kids learn how to manage negative thoughts and emotional triggers. A therapist will work with your child to identify when they’re spiraling emotionally and develop strategies to stop it before it escalates.

  • Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT): Originally developed for adults with intense emotional struggles, DBT has been adapted for kids. It teaches mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation.

  • Parent Coaching or Training Programs: Yep, there are programs designed specifically for us ADHD parents to help us guide our children through emotional challenges. They teach us how to respond to emotional outbursts with calmness and effective strategies (which is easier said than done, I know).

Supplements and Diet: Can They Help?

Okay, so there’s no magical supplement that’s going to cure your child’s ADHD (and anyone who says there is, is probably selling snake oil). But certain vitamins and minerals can help support brain function and emotional regulation.

  • Omega-3 Fatty Acids: There’s growing evidence that omega-3s, found in fish oil, can improve attention, impulse control, and mood regulation in kids with ADHD. One study even showed that children who took omega-3 supplements saw an improvement in emotional lability (aka the wild emotional rollercoaster).

  • Zinc and Magnesium: These minerals are often low in kids with ADHD and are crucial for regulating mood and emotional responses. Zinc helps balance dopamine, and magnesium is like a little zen booster for the brain. You can find these in supplements or get them naturally from foods like leafy greens, nuts, and seeds.

  • Iron: Low iron levels can mess with dopamine production, which affects mood and impulse control. Always check with your pediatrician before starting supplements, but it might be worth testing your child’s iron levels if they seem extra emotionally volatile.

  • Probiotics: Gut health is linked to brain health. Some studies suggest that probiotics can reduce anxiety and stress, which can lead to fewer emotional outbursts. A healthy gut = a happier brain. Go figure.

Medication and Emotional Regulation

For some kids, ADHD medications like stimulants (Adderall, Ritalin) or non-stimulants (Strattera) can help manage the emotional rollercoaster by improving their ability to focus and self-regulate. While medication isn’t a cure-all, it can give your child the mental breathing room they need to process emotions more effectively.

Talk to your pediatrician or a psychiatrist if your child’s emotional struggles are interfering with their daily life. Finding the right medication can sometimes feel like a journey in itself, but it’s worth it when you land on the right combo.

Tip #5: The Power of Deep Breathing and Mindfulness

I know this sounds like something a yoga influencer might say, but hear me out. Teaching your ADHD child to take deep breaths when they’re upset can actually help them calm down. And while I’m not saying your child needs to become a little Buddha, simple mindfulness exercises can make a HUGE difference. Think of it like teaching them to hit the pause button on their emotions before they act.

Try this: The next time they’re about to flip their lid, have them breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, and breathe out for four seconds. It’s not magic, but it helps regulate their nervous system, making it easier to handle big emotions.

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Final Thoughts: It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint

Here’s the honest truth: teaching your ADHD child to regulate their emotions is a long-term process. You’ll have days where it feels like you’re crushing it, and other days where you’re googling “boarding schools in Alaska” (we’ve all been there). The key is consistency, patience, and not beating yourself up when things go off the rails.

Remember, you’re raising a future adult who will one day thank you for teaching them these crucial life skills (probably after they’ve moved out and had their own emotional kiddo!). Until then, buckle up—it’s a wild ride, but it’s one you don’t have to take alone.

If you found this article helpful, check out this piece with my top tips for self-care as an ADHD parent. 👉 Finding Zen in the Chaos: Mindfulness Practices for ADHD Parents | The Meditated Mama

selective focus photography of woman and boy
selective focus photography of woman and boy

You’ve got this, mama! Keep fighting the good fight, and don’t forget to breathe—you’re doing amazing work.

How to Help Your ADHD Child Regulate Their Emotions (While Maintaining Your Own)

Explore simple tips, treatments, and supplements to help your ADHD child regulate their emotions and improve emotional balance.

10/21/20246 min read