10 June 2024

Life Hack: 10 Things I Stopped Doing as an ADHD Mom (And Why You Should Too!)

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a woman and a little girl standing in front of a white curtain
a woman and a little girl standing in front of a white curtain

Welcome to the circus of parenting, where everyone's suddenly Dr. Phil and the advice flows like a leaky faucet. Seriously, it's like everyone's got a Ph.D. in "You're Doing It Wrong." And when you throw ADHD into the mix, suddenly everyone's a pediatrician or a neurologist. It's like they all downloaded a parenting manual overnight! But after a few rounds of this merry-go-round, I was ready to hit the pause button.

So, here's the lowdown: I've got a list of ten things I kicked to the curb on this ADHD parenting rollercoaster. But let me tell you, this ain't your grandma's parenting advice. Nope, this is straight from the trenches—from someone who knows what it's like to have a front-row seat to the unsolicited advice parade. Because let's face it, being told how to do your job day in and day out is enough to make anyone want to scream into a pillow.

So, grab a cup of coffee (or maybe something stronger), and let's dive into this list from a mom who's been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt (probably in bulk, because laundry day is just another adventure in chaos, am I right?). Here's to hoping you'll find these nuggets of wisdom as refreshing as a cool breeze on a hot day.

Listening to the Peanut Gallery: Nope, not in my playbook. I've officially declared my ears a "no judgment zone." Because unless you've walked a mile in my kid's ADHD-fueled sneakers, your opinions are about as useful as a chocolate teapot. Now, don't get me wrong—I'm all ears for any nuggets of wisdom that could actually help. But the rest? Well, I let it flow like the wind.

And hey, I'm not saying we gotta be rude about it! A simple smile and a diplomatic response like, "Karen, that's a very interesting point! I'll definitely keep that in mind," does the trick. It politely nudges our well-meaning friends out of the advice-giving spotlight while keeping the peace. After all, ain't nobody got time for a debate in the grocery store aisle.

Comparison Games: You know the drill: Sally's kid is acing every test while yours is busy exploring the texture of the carpet. But can we embrace our little color outside of the lines Picasso without feeling like a total failure? In my house, we've even turned it into a running joke—schools are for making worker bees, but we're more into the whole "inventor" vibe. Because trust me, if you're feeling the pressure to compare, your little Michelangelo can sense it too. So how about we toss those scorecards out the window and celebrate each kid's unique masterpiece instead?

One-Size-Fits-All Advice: Traditional parenting methods? Yeah, they've been collecting dust on the shelf around here. When my son hit around three, I quickly realized that everything I thought I knew about parenting was about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. So, we've become champions of the out-of-the-box approach. Flexibility? You betcha—that's the secret sauce in our ADHD playbook. So, here's to embracing the unconventional and rolling with the punches.

Feeling Guilty: Repeat after me: "Mom guilt, be gone!" Because let's face it, you're doing your darn best, and that's all anyone can ask for. Gone are the nights of toddler-induced tears and endless self-flagellation. Now, if I slip up, I simply apologize to my son, we dust ourselves off, and carry on. He sees me giving it my all, and honestly, that's all I can ask of myself.

Micromanaging Everything: Newsflash: Sometimes, chaos is the main event, and that's perfectly okay. Embrace the mess—it's where the magic happens! Gone are the days of meticulously planning the perfect picnic. Instead, we welcome the wild food fights in the sun (or rain!) with open arms. Because you know what? The best part of your child's ADHD is the spontaneity it brings to the table!

Whew! Are you still with me???

Ignoring Self-Care: Mama needs her "me time" too, okay? So, go ahead, take those guilt-free bubble baths and indulge in that extra scoop of ice cream. You've earned it, Sis! Sure, we've all heard the age-old saying, "you can't pour from an empty cup." But let me tell you, my psychologist friend recently flipped the script for me. She asked, "Can you frame it as 'I am doing this to be a better mother' rather than 'I am taking time away from my son for myself'?" And let me tell you, that perspective shift hit different!

Trying to Be Supermom (or Superdad): Newsflash: superheroes are fictional characters (and your kid knows that!). So cut yourself some slack and embrace your inner imperfection. Trying to juggle it all only drains your energy for a mission that's, let's face it, kinda futile. Trust me on this: you're gonna need every ounce of energy to keep up with your whirlwind of a child! So, let them pick their own clothes and style their own hair. It's all about building their independence while conserving your precious energy, no matter how wacky the end result may be.

Sweating the Small Stuff: So what if the laundry pile rivals Mount Everest and the kids are treating it like a climbing wall? As long as everyone's alive, fed, and (relatively) happy, who cares about a little chaos? One hard lesson I learned early on (thanks to my child's insistence!) is that kids, ADHD or not, have a knack for being annoying and driving you up the wall. But here's the kicker: you can't let every little thing trigger you, or you'll be running on empty when the big challenges come knocking. And trust me, they will come knocking! So, take a deep breath, let the small stuff slide, and save your energy for when you really need it.

Forgetting to Laugh: Not on my watch! Life's too short to sport serious faces 24/7. Sometimes, you just gotta shake it off and roll with the punches. Take it from me: in my house, we've turned daily challenges into comedy gold. It's one of my favorite things about my child. When I bust out a crazy dance or belt out a silly song, he doesn't skip a beat—he jumps right in as my backup dancer. Sure, ADHD throws us some curveballs (and they can be big ones), but there's always room for a good laugh if you know where to look.

Not Asking for Help: Repeat after me: "I am not a one-person army." Whether it's a shoulder to cry on, a trusted babysitter, or a mental health team for your child (or yourself!), don't hesitate to lean on your support system. By now, you've probably picked up on my mantra of not taking myself too seriously. And you know what? That includes accepting help when it's offered. Advocating for our children's well-being as mama bears is a monumental task, and it's okay—no, necessary—to accept assistance along the way.

Speaking of accepting help along the way, I'm here to help! Sign up for a complimentary 30-minute coaching call where we can chat one-on-one about your unique struggles and explore personalized strategies to help you navigate the ups and downs of ADHD parenting. Together, we'll uncover practical techniques, mindset shifts, and coping mechanisms to bring more peace, clarity, and joy into your family's life. Click the link below to schedule your free coaching call today—I can't wait to connect with you and support you on your parenting journey.



And there you have it – 10 things I've stopped doing as an ADHD mom, along with insights, tips, and a whole lot of heart. As we reach the end of this journey together, I hope you've found inspiration, validation, and perhaps a few moments of laughter along the way.

Parenting with ADHD is a wild ride, full of twists, turns, and unexpected detours. But amidst the chaos, there's also beauty, growth, and countless opportunities for connection and joy. By letting go of perfectionism, embracing self-care, and setting boundaries, we can navigate the ups and downs of parenthood with greater ease and grace.

Remember, you're not alone on this journey! Whether you're feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, or just in need of a little encouragement, know that there's a community of fellow ADHD moms cheering you on every step of the way. Reach out for support when you need it, celebrate your victories – big and small – and above all, be kind to yourself.

As we close this chapter and embark on the next leg of our journey, I want to leave you with one final reminder: You're doing an amazing job, mama. Despite the challenges, setbacks, and moments of doubt, you're showing up for your family with love, resilience, and unwavering dedication. So, take a moment to pat yourself on the back, breathe in the beauty of this messy, beautiful life, and remember that you are enough, just as you are.

girl and woman near people at the field during day
girl and woman near people at the field during day

Thank you for joining me on this adventure. Here's to embracing the chaos, finding joy in the journey, and reveling in the magic of being an ADHD mom. Until next time, keep shining bright, mama – the world is better because of you.

Life Hack: 10 Things I Stopped Doing as an ADHD Mom (And Why You Should Too!)

From setting boundaries to embracing self-care and finding joy in the chaos, gain practical tips and heartfelt insights to navigate parenthood with resilience and humor.

6/10/20247 min read