Oh, sweet summer child—that’s basically what my dear old grandmother thinks about my parenting style. Picture this: It’s a sunny Sunday afternoon, family gathering in full swing, kids running wild, and there I am, trying to rein in the chaos with a sprinkle of positive parenting magic. You know, it's just what i do! Suddenly, out of nowhere, Grandma swoops in with her old-school wisdom, shaking her head like I’ve just handed my son the keys to a kingdom he’s not prepared to rule.

“Mark my words,” she says, voice dripping with authority and just a hint of “I’ve seen it all,” “you’re going to create an entitled, irresponsible child with all this ‘positive’ nonsense.”

Cue the dramatic music. If only I had a mic to drop at that moment. But instead, I took a deep breath and dove into the conversation, calm but, ready to defend my stance.

The Clash of Generations

Let me paint you a picture of the battlefield. My grandma, bless her heart, hails from a time when parenting was all about strict discipline, “because I said so,” and an unshakeable hierarchy. Kids were to be seen and not heard, and heaven forbid they have a meltdown in the cereal aisle—my goodness, the horror!

On the other hand, here I am, armed with research, empathy, and a few modern-day tricks up my sleeve. I believe in giving my son choices, explaining the “why” behind rules, and recognizing his emotions. In my world, patience and understanding are the shields, not the sticks.

Grandma’s Fear: The Entitlement Monster

Grandma’s main gripe? She’s convinced my son will grow up entitled, thinking the world owes him everything on a silver platter. She imagines him strutting into adulthood expecting praise for simply showing up, a permanent pass to shirk responsibilities.

I get it. The fear of raising a child who can’t function in the real world is real. But here’s the kicker: Positive parenting isn’t about creating a pampered prince. It’s about raising a child who understands boundaries, respects others, and feels secure enough to face the world head-on.

The Rebuttal: Why Positive Parenting Rocks

Building Confidence, Not Entitlement

Positive parenting encourages kids to try, fail, and try again. By focusing on effort rather than just results, we teach our kids resilience. They learn that success comes from hard work, not from being handed everything.

According to a study by Carol Dweck, a renowned psychologist from Stanford University, children praised for their effort rather than their innate abilities develop a "growth mindset." They understand that intelligence and abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. This mindset fosters resilience and a willingness to embrace challenges.

Research shows that children with a growth mindset are more likely to persevere in the face of difficulties and achieve higher levels of success in school and later in life. In fact, a study published in Psychological Science found that students who were taught to view their abilities as malleable performed significantly better academically than those who believed their abilities were fixed.

Emotional Intelligence

When we validate our kids’ feelings, we’re not coddling them; we’re teaching them to navigate their emotions. This emotional literacy helps them form healthier relationships and handle conflicts maturely—skills that are golden in adulthood.

Research from the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence shows that children who learn to recognize and manage their emotions are better equipped to cope with stress, have more positive social interactions, and perform better academically. Emotional intelligence is a crucial predictor of success and well-being.

According to a study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, individuals with high emotional intelligence tend to have better job performance and leadership skills. By teaching our children to understand and manage their emotions, we’re giving them a leg up in both personal and professional spheres.

Clear and Firm Boundaries

Positive parenting doesn’t mean no rules. It means clear, consistent rules explained with empathy. Kids thrive when they know the boundaries and the reasons behind them. This approach fosters a sense of security and respect for rules.

A study published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies found that children raised with authoritative parenting (characterized by high responsiveness and high demands) exhibit better psychological well-being, social competence, and academic performance compared to those raised with authoritarian or permissive parenting styles.

Children who understand the “why” behind rules are more likely to internalize those rules and follow them even when no one is watching. This internal motivation leads to better behavior and a stronger sense of responsibility.

Encouraging Responsibility

By giving kids choices and involving them in problem-solving, we instill a sense of responsibility. They learn to weigh options, consider consequences, and make informed decisions—a far cry from the entitled mindset Grandma fears.

A report from the American Psychological Association emphasizes that children who are given autonomy and opportunities to make decisions develop better problem-solving skills and are more responsible. This sense of agency fosters independence and a more profound understanding of accountability.

Moreover, research published in Child Development shows that children who are encouraged to take on responsibilities from a young age develop better executive function skills. These skills are critical for planning, decision-making, and regulating behavior—essential traits for responsible adulthood.

The Aftermath: Winning Her Over (Sort Of)

So, after my impassioned defense, did Grandma throw her hands up and declare me the Parenting Champion of the World? Not exactly. BUT, she did soften a bit. She saw my son, in all his ADHD glory, listen, respond, and even thank her for the cookie he was handed without demanding a second one immediately (a tiny victory, but hey, I’ll take it).

And you know what? I saw a glimmer of understanding in her eyes. Maybe, just maybe, she’s starting to see that positive parenting isn’t about raising entitled kids. It’s about raising capable, confident, and emotionally intelligent humans.

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Conclusion: Standing Firm in Positive Parenting

So, dear reader, if you ever find yourself in my shoes, facing down the barrel of old-school disapproval, stand firm! Our kids are navigating a world vastly different from the one our grandparents knew. Positive parenting isn’t about going soft; it’s about preparing our little warriors for a world that needs more empathy and resilience. And, if Grandma’s worried? Well, maybe she’ll come around after seeing the proof in the pudding—or in this case, in her great-grandson.

Here’s to raising kids who will change the world, one positive interaction at a time!

If you enjoyed this article, don't miss out on my latest piece! In it, I share the liberating experience of shedding traditional mom stereotypes and explain how you can find freedom too. Check it out! Life Hack: 10 Things I Stopped Doing as an ADHD Mom (And Why You Should Too!) | The Meditated Mama

Cheers to the modern parenting warriors out there! Keep doing what you’re doing, because the future is bright—and it’s in the hands of our incredible kids.